A burger joint with a hipster style set-up and a punny name referencing the cow’s status in India, how could I not take a trip? But unfortunatley Holee Cow is nothing more than holee crap!
After hearing countless amazing reviews about Clarence Street’s newest restaurant, Holee Cow, I decided to check it off my to-do list. With critics calling it “the best burgers in town” and their tagline, “Burgers. Beyond Belief. You just won’t believe it until you’ve tried it” plastering their website, what could go wrong?
Stepping inside, a friend and I were welcomed by pleasant staff who ushered us to table with teal banquette seating. Perhaps an interior idea to give an aura of sophistication when compared to Cheltenham’s other burger joint, Five Guys. Accompanied with rusty corrugated metal, open brickwork and a thousand lightbulbs dangling above your head, the setting is certainly not short of cool.
Our waitress handed us the menu and left us to stare at the six options. One if your vegetarian, which I am. So, with my meal finalised in seconds, I moved onto the sides where I was more spoilt for choice. In the end, I settled for the Bean Bag (£7) and Skin on Fries (£3), not a bad price considering the ‘gourmet atmosphere’.
Little did we know it would take 45 minutes for our food to arrive. We were in no rush, so didn’t complain, but the couple sat opposite did and the staff were very accommodating, giving them their food for free. I now wish we’d followed their footsteps as the food wasn’t worth the wait. My burger was bland and dry and I was struggling to find the smoked cheddar, lettuce, tomato salsa and sour cream promised on the menu. Not only that but my brioche bun was burnt, making my burger taste worse. The fries, which I hoped would salvage the meal, were okay apart from the immense seasoning sitting on top, which could have been mistaken for a sandpit.
After my visit, I now understand the tagline; you won’t believe how bad it is, until you’ve been, but I wouldn’t wish that upon you. I can’t talk about the meat options, but if you’re vegetarian do yourself a favour and stay clear of Holee Cow. The McDonalds McVeggie is better.
Food and Drink: 1/5
Service: 3/5
Atmosphere: 4/5
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